Evan is 1 month old!

Well we've made it a month and couldn't be happier.  It seems like longer than a month though!  Evan is such a cutie. He is still sleeping all the time.  I wake him every 3 hours to eat, day and night.  It can be tough for me to wake up to my alarm instead of a crying baby.  He is so good though and just goes right back to sleep after eating so that I can too!  He is quite a grunter and makes lots of noises while he is sleeping. 

 He hardly cries.  we've heard him cry hard a few times when he's hurt-like when I cut his thumb while cutting his nails :(-or when he has some gas.  He is easily soothed though. We'll just enjoy this easy stage as long as possible because he's sure to get and share an opinion soon!

Evan is a projectile pooper.  I don't remember the girls doing this.  A few times when I've changed him he has pooped so forcefully that is has splattered on my pants and shirt!  And he's gotten my hand several times as well while I'm wiping him.  And of course we've had a few firehose incidents.  Such a boy.

 

We still don't have a social smile yet but it's coming soon, I can feel it!

 Asleep during bathtime

 We took Evan just to sacrament meeting last Sunday then David took him home.  This is how I found them after church

Favorite things about Evan:

Mom: His chubby cheeks, kissable lips, and sleepy faces

Dad: His grunting noises

Cyrena: His chubby cheeks

Natalie: How cute he is when his eyes are open (the other day she said "Evan is just so cute I can't even close my eyes from him!!")

Anna: His ears, eyes, and mouth, basically anything that can be poked.  She also enjoys his diaper changes.  She is constantly saying "He lookin' at me!"

Easter 2013

I felt like I couldn't concentrate on Easter this year as well as I would have liked.  Personally I was able to reflect a lot and ponder the amazing gift of the atonement. However I felt like I could have done a better job discussing and preparing my kids.  What can I say, I was sleep deprived and stressed!  David and I picked some bible videos for them to watch so he did that and talked with them about them. We did our best and that was good enough.

 Anna loved dyeing the eggs, she kept plopping them back in to get them more and more colorful.  She had purple hands for a few days.

 

Cyrena's basket was hidden in the hutch, Anna's was in the downstairs bathtub, and Natalie's was in the blanket basket

 

 The whole family got new flip flops--David's are in the background. :)

 The girls were most excited about the small bags of chips...

 and the juice boxes! Two treats we don't get very often

 Thanks to David, Grandma Lemmert and the dresses Grandma Taylor bought, the girls looked beautiful for Easter Sunday

Evan is 4 weeks

The main event this week was the circumcision!  David and I both had anxiety about it but the Dr. kept telling us that Evan would thank us one day!  It ended up not being a big deal and Evan actually slept through the whole thing.  Over and done!  Evan weighed 5 lbs 9 oz at his appointment.

 They just have to touch their brother. They know they are allowed to touch his toes and his head; that's all for now.

 Watching General Conference with Grandma Lemmert

 A sleepy smile

 Getting chubby!!

Evan's Third Week

Evan began taking his bottle really well again.  He wasn't needing to be fed through his tube hardly at all.  His weight picked up and he was doing really well regulating his body temperature.  There started to be rumors going around that the "you know what" could be happening soon (discharge!).  One of the nurses said they're not allowed to actually say it so sometimes they refer to it as "the pizza party!"  So funny.  I was getting excited but trying not to show it too much.  On Friday they took his feeding tube out!

By Saturday it was officially confirmed that he would be discharged the following day-Easter Sunday.  So we quickly got his hearing and car seat tests done and had the last few checks by the neonatologists.  It was so bittersweet to know we would be bringing him home but we would also miss the wonderful nurses and doctors that took care of him. His final weight in the hospital Saturday night was 4 lbs 10 oz. 

I made sure I was there early on Sunday just in case there were any last minute things that needed to be done before we could take Evan home. David met up with me after church and soon after we loaded everything up.  We had to use a cart to get everything out to the car!  It was strange to think we would no longer be allowed to have access to the NICU, it felt like we should still be taking care of things there.  In fact it took both of us a couple of days to cut off our bracelets.  

To celebrate coming home he wore this adorable preemie outfit from cousin Tara.

Evan seemed SO little in his car seat.  I had to ride next to him on the way home just to reassure myself he could breathe.  The girls were very excited to welcome us home.  They immediately wanted to hold him so we took turns.  We also showed him his Easter basket which included a book, stuffed monkey, and pacifiers.  By the end of the evening I was so exhausted I could hardly see straight.  I think the last month had finally caught up to me.  

Evan is still a very sleepy baby and will be for a few weeks yet.  I have to set my alarm to make sure he eats every 3 hours around the clock.  It is very hard to drag myself out of bed when all is quiet!  I have started pumping while I am feeding him his bottle.  This cuts down on my time awake at night. 

Monday morning I awoke to find out that Anna and Natalie both had the stomach flu.  Luckily Grandma Barb was there to help David get things cleaned up and then she had to continue to clean up after David headed to work.  I felt so bad but I had to protect Evan and keep him quarantined in my room.  It was awful.  The girls were so sick.  After lunch David came home because he had the flu also.  What a day!  And then of course, by that evening I was having symptoms and by the next day I was sick as well.  I didn't have it as badly as everyone else but it was still painful and exhausting, especially since I wasn't getting that much sleep anyway.  David and I had to take Evan to the doctor on Tuesday and I could barely make it through that.  His weight that day was 5 lbs even.  The doctor was pleased to see such a healthy preemie.  He had been prepped by the neonatologist about Evan's birth and treatment.  All was well there and he said to just keep doing what we're doing.  

By Wednesday we were all feeling mostly better but then Grandma came down with it.  It was her turn!  We all felt so bad!

 You can see he is starting to get a little chubby in the face!

It seems strange that Evan is only 3 weeks old.  There has been so much going on!  It feels like this whole ordeal has been going on a lot longer than a month.  What a month March was--I can't wait to see what April brings!  I'm hoping for lots of time on the couch snuggling my newborn. 

Evan's Second Week

Week 2
Evan is now at 33 weeks gestational age. They have been upping his feedings since he seems to be digesting my milk well. However, on Thursday he started having a hard time drinking his bottles. They say its not uncommon for a preemie to be gung-ho for a few days and then be too tired and not want to eat.  So they've been using his tube again for part of his feedings.  I know he just needs to continue to sleep and grow so he will have more energy to drink his bottles; but it's hard to be patient at times.  He will max out at about 38 ml per feeding while in the NICU until he grows a bit more. And he's almost there.  However he has been spitting up more. Pretty much every preemie has reflux so they think that's all it is.  The feeding tube keeps his stomach open a little so it's easy for food to come back up.

Evan got his PICC line out since he is taking more food and digesting well.  That means he gets to wear clothes!  He looks adorable.
 
My emotions have stabilized a little but I definitely have my moments!  I definitely feel like the mother bear missing her cub.  It's so hard to leave him here but I have to take care of my other cubs too!  It's so interesting the bond I have with Evan; I could literally sit and hold him all day.  I'm lucky in that regard that holding him is the most important thing I can do for him right now.  I love it.

 
Aunt Tammy and cousin Coby came on Thursday to visit and help out.  The girls had so much fun with them and Tammy helped out a bunch with laundry, yard work, poopy diapers, and entertaining the kids!  They left Tuesday and Grandma Barb flew in that same day.  We are very lucky that we have so many people willing to help us out!

On Monday Evan seemed better and stopped spitting up.  He is eating about 2/3 of his feedings from a bottle and the rest through the feeding tube.  He is very awake and alert for about 10 minutes during each feeding but just poops out toward the end,  He just needs to gain more endurance.  He also graduated to a bassinet!  His temperature has stayed regulated so he doesn't need the isolette anymore.  Yay!  It's making discharge seem that much closer,  So pretty much as soon as he is taking all his feedings through the bottle he can come home!  I gave Evan a bath today.  He still has his cord stump so just a sponge bath in a tupperware!  He really liked it. He is seeming more and more like a full term newborn.  He is rooting for food now and even tried to latch on to David while laying on his chest!
 



By Wednesday Evan weighed 4 lbs 5 oz. 

 Those are preemie diapers and they're still big!

Evan's First Week

Thursday March 14
I was finally able to stop the morphine and got to feeling better immediately.  They tried to give me some Percocet but I knew I would be so sick on it.  I just stuck with Ibuprofen.  I chatted with my cleaning lady that cleans my room every morning.  she said she saw me as they rushed me to the OR and wast so worried for me,  she told me that she usually mops the halls at 12 but for some reason that day she hesitated and did something else first. Then she saw them rushing my bed down the halls that would have been pretty wet at that time.  She was very very sweet.  David took me on some hall strolls before going to see Evan.   They had to put the iv in his head and I felt so badly for him. This was the first time I got to hold him. I put him on my chest and it was so good to have some bonding time with him. He wasn't as scary as I  thought he would be.  He was small but I still felt so comfortable holding him; my sweet baby boy. I  held him for about an hour and then I was worn out.  We went back to my room and I took a nap. 

After dinner we went back upstairs to be with Evan.  There we met Dr. Allaire.  David had met her the day before because she was the Dr that worked on Evan after he was born.  I asked her to tell me about his birth since neither David or I witnessed it.  What she told me devastated me.  She said that when he was born he was completely lifeless.  His skin was devoid of all color and he wasn't breathing.  Now some of the things I had heard the nurses say made more sense.  They had commented that he hadn't cried when he was born and things like that.  But I had no idea how bad it was.  Dr Allaire said that when she first saw him she wasn't sure he was going to make it.  However as soon as they put the breathing tube in him he snapped right back and was responsive.  She said Evan was doing remarkably well considering his traumatic beginning. I couldn't really process everything she was saying because I was a bit I shock.  My baby had almost died and I had no idea,  I would have never met him, held him or smelled his sweet baby smell. When the Dr left David and I were very quiet.  Then we heard the Dr next door telling another mother that her baby was very sick and they might want to let nature take its course.  David and I were dumbfounded and couldn't believe we had this miracle baby while other parents were being given the worst possible news.  It was very humbling.

Friday March 15
Today is when everything finally hit me and I was pretty much an emotional wreck for most of the day.  I called my mom to tell her what I had found out from the Dr.  I was crying so hard she could barely understand me.  I needed to ride the emotional wave so that I could begin to process what had happened.  I was feeling good and walking around better so we ditched the wheelchair and I walked to the elevators and to the NICU.  We visited with Evan and we were told his jaundice levels were rising a bit. This was to be expected.  They put him under the lights for a bit but the Dr turned them off because she didn't think he needed them quite yet.  Later that afternoon we went up again and my mom came to hold him for the first time.  At that time we got the great news that Evan was being moved out of the ICU and into the intermediate care nursery.  He would have his own private room and he would stay there until he goes home.  I was so happy to hear that.  My mom and I headed downstairs to hang out with the girls for awhile; they loved seeing me up walking around.  I had told David to give them each $1 so they could experience picking something out of the vending machine.  That was super exciting for them!

 Today Evan had a permanent IV installed--a PICC line.  This will give him some extra fluids and fats and they won't to keep moving the IV and re-sticking him.

That night David and I hung out watching old tv shows and just laughing-that HURT.  However as soon as the lights turned off I started reliving Wednesday's nightmare.  David had already fallen asleep but my sobbing woke him up.  He crawled into my bed and held me until I was calm and could finally sleep.  I am so blessed to have such a man to love and care for me.  He commented the next day that he had never heard me cry like that before.  Usually I am a private crier since I try to be so strong!  He told me not to hide it anymore. :)  I am one blessed wife.

Saturday March 16
This was such a great day. We got to see Evans new room.   It's so nice having space to take care of him.  His jaundice levels had risen again so they decided to put him on the billy blanket.  This meant we didn't get to hold him much-only 30 minutes at a time, 

David left and took the girls swimming and came back after lunch.  Alison came by for a visit. She brought me new pajamas-awesome!  We all went up to see Evan. It was time for his feeding and they wanted to see how he would do with a bottle.  I got to feed him and he sucked done the entire thing!  I was shocked and so so happy!  They didn't really expect him to have the suck swallow breath reflex yet but he was a champ!

That night David got take out from a local Mexican restaurant so we could celebrate our final night in the hospital!  

Sunday March 17
My nurse today was Sandy, the one who helped save my baby by her quick actions-holding the cord in.  I was so glad to see her.  She took care of me and got me all ready for discharge.  We went up and visited Evan for his 9 am cares and told him good-bye for the day. 

The girls were so happy to see me!  Coming home was a bittersweet event.  I was so happy to see my girls and my house but a piece of our family was definitely missing.  Anna plopped herself next to me and didn't want to leave my side.  The girls showed me all the treasures that Grandma had bought them.  Cyrena showed off her hula hoop skills.  It was so fun.  I headed upstairs and was asleep within minutes of laying on my bed.  The entire afternoon and evening I was very tears and missing my baby but trying to be bright and cheery for the girls,  David and I put them to bed-it was so nice to be able to do that again.  Anna of course really wanted me to pick her up and hold her and didn't understand why I couldn't.  After they were settled in bed David and I got in the car to head back to the hospital.  As soon as we pulled out of the driveway I let out all the tears I'd been holding in.  It had been a hard, long day.  We got to the hospital and the first thing the nurse asked me was " how was the homecoming?"  And I lost it again and couldn't even answer her!  She was so sweet and understanding.  That night Evan was back to his birth weight of 3 lbs 12 oz.  The lowest he had been was 3 lbs 9 oz.  We just got to hold him for about 30 minutes so he could go back on the UV blanket.  By that time I was exhausted anyway and ready to sleep in my own bed.

We're home!!

Monday March 18
 Today Evan started taking all his feelings through the bottle.  It was amazing!  All the nurses were surprised since babies don't usually do that at 32 weeks.  We started our new schedule today.  David helps me get the kids up and ready and Cyrena off to school.  Usually he's gone way before then but his work is being very understanding.  Then he and I both leave the house just after 8.  I head to the hospital and he heads to work. My dad drove me today and my mom picked me up.  I don't know what we would do without their help!  I arrive for Evans 9 am cares and then 'kangaroo' (skin to skin holding) with him for about 2 hours.  Then I put him in his bed, pump, use the restroom, eat my snack then do his 12 pm cares.  Then I stay and hold him after he eats before I head out so i am home by about 1:30. I'm home all afternoon for when Cyrena gets home and the family is all together.  Then we put the kids to bed and drive back to the hospital for his 9 pm cares and David 'kangaroos' with him for about an hour while I update this journal.  We get home around 11:30 and fall into bed exhausted!  Evan gets weighed every night and I watch the scale like a hawk!  Today he gained 2 oz so he is now at 3lbs 14 oz.

Tuesday March 19
 Evan continues to do well with his bottles.  His nurses say he seems to think he's older than he really is!  They keep asking if my due date was wrong but I know it wasn't.  I know this is due to all the prayers and faith of our friends and family,  his weight today was 4 lbs even!



Wednesday March 20
 Evan is 1 week old today and what a cutie he is!  My parents both drove me today and the girls went to the Larson's house.  It was time for Grandma and Grandpa to go home.  They had given us 2 full weeks of help and it was so appreciated!  It was hard to say good-bye; lots and lots of tears.  It was so reassuring knowing that my girls were being loved and cared for while I was in the hospital and couldn't be there for them.  I owe them a debt of gratitude for sure!  Evan continues to do well and weighed 4 lbs 1oz today.