I apologize for not posting much lately. I haven't been having the easiest time and am a little overwhelmed! I debated whether or not to write about it but I do have to acknowledge the amazing people in my life. I've had a bad case of the 'baby blues.' I tend to have major hormonal issues and I was a mess when Cyrena was born as well. So the wonderful friends and family in my life have intervened and done their best to reassure and distract me and give me breaks. They are truly amazing and I'm so grateful for their support. I sometimes feel so isolated living here away from family. Then I throw a pity party for myself and feel like I am not cut out to be a mother. I know a BIG part of all these awful, awful feelings is sleep deprivation which I know will get better soon (hopefully!). I do love my girls and love to kiss them to death, I just don't feel adequate a lot of times. Figuring out a newborn is such an overwhelming task and at times seems impossible. I know it will get better, it has to! I'm looking forward to my mother-in-law's visit next week, it will be a great distraction. And I'm looking forward to these hormones getting under control!
On a lighter note, Cyrena finished up another session of her art class. It was every Saturday morning and she just loves it. It's the second time she's done it and she enjoys every minute of it. Here are some pictures from today.
David wrote down all the things Cyrena was thankful for, then she took a turn writing down what David was thankful for.
Cyrena and her teacher, Miss Sheri. She has taken a few classes from her and LOVES her.
Our 4-eyed child. These are her sunglasses that she took the lenses out of. She loves wearing them still, but people really think she has glasses.
Our pink baby. She looks sweet when she's sleeping huh? You're all welcome to come over when she's screaming!
16 comments:
Oh Jenna!!! If there's anything I can do please call!!! I can take Cyrena for a while so you can have a nap or break!!! I hope that you get to feeling better soon. You have a beautigful family and I'm so happy for you! Don't beat yourself up to badly, we all try to be super moms, but just worry about being you! We can only do so much.....Heavenly Father has blessed you with this wonderful spirit and I see that inside you and see it when you look at your family. You can do this and you are so strong. One day at a time......
xoxoxoxo
I'm so sorry you are having a hard time--it's such a hard transition going from 1 to 2...I really struggled. Keep doing the E.A.S.Y thing and hopefully Natalie will start sleeping better--Claire is just starting to have a good night every so often. Call me anytime--I'm usually home, on the couch, feeding a newborn...
The sleep deprivation is definitely so hard to do. Hang in there. Having 2 is a big adjustment and in a little while things will run like clock work again. I wish I could be of more help to you, but we have just a few miles between us. :)
Sorry your day wasn't more worth it when I took Cyrena. I'll have to do it again and hopefully Natalie doesn't give you a hard time :)
Hey Jenna,
We hope you feel better soon. I just thought you should know I think your pretty amazing and that you are seriously the coolest/best mom! Let us know if there's anything we can do, even though we're a little ways apart, we'll help! Everyone looks happy and healthy. Take care and stay strong.
Jenna I just love you and think you are the greatest. You love your family and it shows. Remember to say your prayers, just think it can only get better. Right? Give your girls kisses for me...I wish I was there.
Jenna -
I don't know if my previous comments got published - if so, sorry for the duplication.
I hope the story I read you over the phone yesterday - "The Old Woman" - that you wrote in elementary school lightened your day a bit.
I am going to go home teaching today and there is not a specific message; however, we are to choose a conference talk. I chose the one Elder Holland gave titled "The Ministry of Angels."
Here is an excerpt:
"But God knew the challenges they [his children] would face, and He certainly knew how lonely and troubled they would sometimes feel. So He watched over His mortal family constantly, heard their prayers always, and sent prophets (and later apostles) to teach, counsel, and guide them. But in times of special need, He sent angels, divine messengers, to bless His children, reassure them that heaven was always very close and that His help was always very near."
I know you will be blessed with angels (both earthly and heavenly) to help you through this.
I love you -
Dad
Jenna, Remember that we are all praying for you and remember those we love who have gone before us, are praying for our success also. This too shall pass, I promise. I can't wait for you to come home for Christmas so I can spoil you lots! Cyrena was worth it so will Natalie be worth all this turmoil. Think who she is, where she came from, and who loved her first. Love you Mom
Just dealing with PCOS is a lot to handle then throw in the massive reduction of estrogen after childbirth and it's like a hormonal Molotov cocktail! These babies knew you were going to be their mother, they knew this was their family and they knew the challenges that awaited. I obviously have no idea what the whole post childbirth and a newborn feels like yet, but after years of just dealing with PCOS I know it's gonna be a dosy. Just don't be afraid to ask for help about whatever is overwhelming you. I recently had a good friend remind me that after this baby comes it will be like caring for a newborn, a toddler and a bratty teenager - plus the little baby that's coming home with us. LOL, that certainly describes me on a bad hormonal month. Call me, write me anytime - I absolutely hands down understand the hormonal thing and in a few weeks I'll be there with you on the little baby stuff too =) Just remember that Natalie is your kid and you are both Heavenly Father's child so remember to let your father know when you're having a hard time and to send you some help. Love you bunches and totally think you are an amazing woman and mother!
My thoughts and prayers are with you. I know it has got to be hard, but each challenge makes you such a stronger person. I am calling you when it is my turn to go through it...I hope to see you at christmas...Andy and I will be in Utah visiting my dad. -Cari
I'd like to come over sometime and bring you a little baby gift...maybe next week when your company is gone? Don't hesitate to let us know if you need anything! or a break! or chocolate!
Jenna....be kind to yourself and remember my lifetime motto - "Depression is okay to visit...you just can't move in and make a home there." Besides...we all need your infectious smile in our lives. I love you my neice...you hang in there; there is always a storm before a rainbow. I think someone else said that, but what the heck, I'll take credit anyway. ;)
You are in my prayers...Lynette
Okay, if you haven't figured out that you are loved(13 comments on your blog later)-We all love you very much and you are a big part of many lives that are better because of your influences.
You aren't wonder woman-you don't have her cape. And no one thinks that you need to be her. THink of the itch from the tights 24/7. Seriously, you are amazing and I have been with Natalie went he was screaming and you know what, I loved every minute of it!!! I will do it again too. I love seeing you with your baby b/c you care so much for her.
And last but not least, Cyrena makes me laugh so hard when she wears those sun glasses-minus the lenses.
YOu are one lucky chick, even if you don't think so... yet!
Jenna!
I'm so glad to have found your blog! Little Natalie is SO adorable! Ava and I send you and Cyrena lots of hugs! I hope you know that it's OK to struggle while you adjust to this new juggling act. It took me a whole year to get used to adding Mia to the mix. ;)
You are such an amazing Mom and teacher. (You know that Ava wants to live w/ you right??)You have an amazing gift when it comes to children. We miss you and hope to see you soon!!
If anyone was made to be a mother it is you! You are fantastic with the little ones and fantastic with teenagers.
I'm sorry you have had a hard time. We love and miss you guys.
Rachel
Jenna I have been there!! I remember having those same feelings after Kade. I am here for you, whatever you need I am your girl! Call me anytime....and I'll call you too :o)
XOXOXO
Brooke
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